Mostly Dead (mostlydead) wrote,
Mostly Dead
mostlydead

  • Music:

the roach side of frustration

yes, fine pickle of fish this move has been so far... i sit here counting the days off this life as i breath in powerful poisons in order to kill the roaches living in this building anywhere near this apartment and deter them from returning as it seems they were used to doing... the bedroom is off-limits tonight, probably tomorrow night as well... roaches i will not get used to, so either they go or i do... i gave notice to the management that the orkin guy coming this past wednesday did not resolve the roaches entering this space and they have two weeks to fix it or i will be moving out... i am almost certain that i have a thirty day window to move out according to the leasing agent... meanwhile, i used the outdoor killer stuff on the bedroom and parts of the kitchen and outside the front door and now i sit next to the open window hoping it does not rain any more than it already has because i'd like to sleep with the windows open tonight... in the living room... there's always the car and if i must, a local hotel... i might have headed over to the pool area to check out the wi-fi if it was not raining, again...

i know i intended to wait until monday so i'd be gone for a few days, but the roaches apparently wanted me to know they lived here first and were not planning on moving out as they were bold enough to be creeping around the kitchen counter in broad daylight when i got home... the dirty microwave got their attention... the one thing i bring in dirty (and i almost never used it, but they never cleaned it and i may trash it) and the roaches come looking, which tells me they have a nice home in the walls and this will require a serious treatment... alas, and here i thought i was paying $150 more a month to live in a cleaner, newer, better kept apartment... for all the negatives of the management and upkeep of the other place, there was never a bug in that apartment after i fumigated the first time and there was always food and crumbs and grease and standing water and cardboard boxes and clutter and all the things roaches love there... that comes from knowing how to treat a property for bugs... something they obviously do not know how to do here...

so i may be moving again before the end of the month, dammit... and i may spend a hundred or more trying to clean this building up first... just what i needed, higher rent and higher upkeep... and poisons in the air and everywhere... did i mention there's a bit of frustration floating around the place as well? (alas, this would be so much fun if there was someone sharing the adventure and challenge and poisoning... so naturally i am only laughing, not really loving it...

and the music continues... and the belly bloats (frustration leads to bloating, didn't you know that?... well, yeah, so does poisoning, but i will not live with roaches... did i mention that?... the music is wonderful in spite of the distractions and near death experiences... wonderfully wonderful, even though i do not have the magic of the tapes of wonder, the tapes of history, the tapes of thunder, the tapes of mystery, the tapes of lightening, the tapes of glory, the tapes of wisdom, the tapes or story... oh, oh oh, the story... i think the poisons are getting to me... it's not a great high, more like a low grade fever and nausea... and slight frontal lobe headache... kind of like two days ago when i thought it was mostly the move and kidneys...

O . . . O
. . .
O


yeah, in the almost immortal paraphrase of rene z in that movie everybody loved before they started hating the male co-star, you had me at stupid ass... that is, you have every right to call me a stupid ass, but fuck it, yes, fuck it, i am either going to die here or move and i really do not want to move again so soon, so i'll do my dirty work like i used to when i was young and more easily digested poisons and worked my way through high school killing nyc roaches and deal with the consequences, whatever they may be and while my outwardly insightfully (incitefully?) gifted friend z (not rene, though i'd love it) would suggest that i am just being a drama queen and suffering the slings and arrows of martyrdumb in order to prove nobody really gives a dam and i very well would die alone in an apartment someday like old auntie em (not dorothy's em, i had my own auntie em, just ask sandy who found her with me, poor kid, wish she was here, or better yet, in a much better place) and he may very well be right to a certain extent (a-hem), there is still the distinct possibility that i am simply a lazy stupid ass who does not want to drag the laptop and plugs and stuff down to the pool (do they even have outdoor plugs, i mean, the battery doesn't work) in the rain...

besides, i don't really want to leave the windows open with the ground all wet outside and a high chance of rain (excuses, excuses, but then, the last thing the new carpet needs is to get wet, roaches would love that... flipping fucktitude, where's the one who's gonna take care of me for a while... just been looking for her a lifetime, just when i thought i gave up, her comes that dream again... laughing like a lover finding just the right spot... chocolate fudge ice cream again... teasin like a child who does not know what he's got... fuck yeah...

i think i am tired of not cursing in my writing... either that or i have some pent up cursing that wants to come out... maybe it's the poisons... i think i'd have rather had a patio balcony overlooking the water like the model apartment they showed me... and two bedrooms, nicer layout... bigger kitchen... there really is no counter space in this one... they give up counter space for a bigger laundry room and a full size pantry closet... but i am at the rare, but still atainable moment wherein who gives a fuck makes sense...

i wouldn't mind the roaches and the poisons i have to use to deal with them if i was paying less rent, but this is an upscale place, or it's supposed to be.... don't judge a book by it's cover... meanwhile, i forgot to forward my mail all week... i am reminded of this because when i went to the mailbox, i found it full of the last tenant's mail... three electric bills, which suggests the apartment has been empty a couple of months, which makes sense as they replaced the carpets and flooring and even the counter tops and cabinets may be new... which may suggest the last tenants were pigs, tore the place up, and lived with the roaches because they fed them by being pigs and not knowing how to stop them from moving in...

the poisons are giving me a headache... i may have to check in somewhere tonight... at least i'd get the full fumigating over with in one night, but then, i might have to stay away three nights which would be the cost of another move, at least... my luck does not seem to be all that good in recent years... maybe it is true, maybe i simply haven't given a shit about myself or much of anything else in life in a while... we won't go pointing fingers of blame or seeking root causes or anything, just making an observation...

so what else is new?...

oh yeah, when i throw a pity party, i kick myself up but good, aye?... poisons 'n everythang... and like a good drunk, i've got tipped over bottles everywhere... water bottles, mind you, but there's such a thing as water poisning too, ya know... like you think no one ever got cancer from smoking those candy cigarettes as a kid?...

i'm going out a while, if it rains, it rains...
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